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♪ MTV ♪
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Thank goodness you're home.
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I really need you right now.
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I dropped my ring
down the drain.
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Do you guys know how to--
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Whoa.
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Well, who was it?
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It was like, um,
a poptical illusion.
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I thought it was that
hot chick from downstairs
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telling me that she
really needs me right now.
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No, Beavis,
I'm sure that really
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happened and wasn't a dream.
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Oh, yeah.
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We're never gonna score.
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Yeah, really.
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Damn landlord butthole again.
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If I wanted to pay the rent,
I would have done it already.
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Yeah.
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When's he gonna learn?
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Whoa!
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Um, Butt-Head,
it's happening again.
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I'm having that illusion.
Come look.
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Why'd you shut
the door on me?
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He doesn't have
a big IQ, ma'am.
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You know what the
counselor said it was?
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69.
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Do you know anything
about plumbing?
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I dropped my mom's
ring down the drain.
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Don't you worry.
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I think we know how
to handle our pipes.
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How about that?
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Is the ring out?
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Uh, not yet.
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Let me try the plunger again.
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And there we go.
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I think it's working!
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You guys can go home.
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I called a real plumber.
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Yeah, probably a good idea.
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You know, let a pro
deal with it, you know.
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No, dumbass.
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That hot chick needs us.
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We're doing this.
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Now I'm going to put
my hand down the drain.
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Uh-huh, yeah.
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So whatever you do, don't
turn on that garbage
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disposal thing.
- OK, got it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, so turn it
on then, right?
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No, dumbass.
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Do not turn it on.
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OK.
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Well, it seems kind of
crazy, but, um, I'll do it.
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Hold it right there, asswipes.
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Get your goddamn hand out
of that drain right now.
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Todd?
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It's really Todd.
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♪ How it must feel
to be a bird ♪
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Ugh.
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Is this guy Irish?
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Oh, he's Irish, all right.
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"I-rish" he would
shut up and stop singing.
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Yeah.
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I think that was
a dad joke, Butt-Head.
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Uh, how would
you know, Beavis?
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You don't have a dad.
- Oh, yeah.
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That's true.
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A dad joke for you
would be like, "Beavis,
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"I'm glad you're my son.
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"I want to spend
more time with you.
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And everyone knows
if I'm alive or dead."
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, that's pretty good.
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Oh, boy.
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Is this song ever gonna, like,
speed up or something?
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Uh, no.
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I think it's getting slower.
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I think I know
what he's doing here.
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See, it's really slow
now, but it's just gonna
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kick in any second,
you know?
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Yeah, yeah, here it comes.
Yeah.
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Dooo-do-do-do-do-do-do-doo!
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Bo-bo bu-pah bu- pah, bu-tah!
Boooh! Whooaa!
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Drop the bass.
Wooo-aahhh!
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Boo-boo-boo-boo-wha
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
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boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
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boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah!
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♪ How does it feel
to be a bird? ♪
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Whaaaaa!
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♪ And I'm tellin' you home
is so sweet ♪
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Um, no.
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I guess I was wrong.
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Uh, I think now
there's less bass.
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He didn't drop anything.
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Yeah, I guess not.
Oh, boy.
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♪ That's what she asked me ♪
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This guy looks like
one of those guys
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where, like, his dad
wanted him to learn to box
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and become a fighter,
but he wanted
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to sit around and write poems.
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His dad was right.
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Yeah, yeah, really.
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He was like...
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"No, dad, I don't want
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"to learn to fight.
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My words are my fists."
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And then his dad
was like...
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"Well, my fists are my fists."
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And then he punched
him in the face.
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Whoa.
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Is he doing laundry now?
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Yeah.
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He wet the bed.
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"Quit your
whimpering and your whining
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"and do some laundry!
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"Your sheets need
a good washin'.
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"You've been in there
spanking your wee monkey,
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Dermot Kennedy."
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You know, this is,
like, the most bad that it
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could possibly be, you know?
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Yeah.
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He, like, showed the
video to his friends,
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and they were like, "Uh,
Dermot, this kind of sucks."
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And then he was like, "Kind of?
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"Well, just watch me.
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"I'm gonna make it suck
harder than anything
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has ever sucked before."
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"More birds.
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More shots of the water."
- Yeah.
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"And no drums.
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"If I hear the sound
of one drum, I'm gonna
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punch you with my words."
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Yeah.
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♪ When I'm face to face
with death ♪
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♪ I'll grab his throat ♪
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Self-expression sucks.
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Yeah.
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So, do you remember that
time you threw us in your trunk
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by the railroad tracks?
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No.
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Uh, do you remember when
you threw us in your trunk
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at the pool?
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No.
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What about the time you threw
us in your trunk by the creek?
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Do you remember that one?
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Huh.
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I guess I do remember messing
with a couple of losers
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who were always in my face.
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Yes! Yes!
He remembers us!
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Those were the happiest
times of our lives.
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And there it is.
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Philena!
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Got something for you.
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Oh, thank you so much.
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Thank you, Todd.
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Thank you.
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I'll get my checkbook.
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Whoa.
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How'd you do that?
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Easy, man.
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I pull some chick's
ring out of her drain
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just about every damn day.
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And they always
hug you like that?
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- And that ain't all they do.
- Whoa.
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Really?
We want to be plumbers.
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Yes.
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Teach us, Todd.
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Teach us the way of the pipe.
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You know, maybe I do
owe you for all the crap
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I did back in the day.
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They call it bullying
now, I guess.
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Yeah, bullying is cool.
Yeah.
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Yeah, I'm doing
a job on Fifth and Green.
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Be there tomorrow, and you
can start your education.
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Beavis, Todd is going
to turn us into plumbers.
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And then we will score.
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Pipe.
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By the end of the day, we can
test the hookup to the street.
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Todd!
Hey, Todd!
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Hey, Todd!
Hey, it's us.
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Yeah, Todd.
We got here early.
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So when do we start scoring?
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Got no time to screw
around, asswipes.
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We gotta lay
a lot of pipe today.
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Shut up.
186
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OK, I'll walk you through this.
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First, we're gonna
cut some 2-inch holes.
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"Hole."
189
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I said shut up!
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Sorry, Todd.
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You're, like, so cool that
sometimes when you say things,
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I like, get distracted--
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Jesus Christ, you dumbass!
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Put that down now!
195
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,396
You know what?
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00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,999
I got a better job for you two.
197
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:57,571
So what I need you
two dickheads to do
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00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,574
is go down there, find the
shit pipe, and clean it out.
199
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,209
- Really?
- Whoa.
200
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,779
You'd trust us with that?
201
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,080
Fair warning.
202
00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:09,116
You're going to find
all kinds of excrement--
203
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and I do mean all kinds,
204
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plus motor oil,
congealed fat,
205
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,723
razor blades,
things of this nature.
206
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:20,693
Usually, we use a rooter, but
this job calls for bare hands.
207
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,094
- Makes sense to me.
- Yeah, sounds right.
208
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,095
Yeah.
209
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,865
Goggles off, gloves off.
210
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,266
Take your time.
211
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,535
Make sure you touch everything.
212
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:29,769
We will, Todd.
213
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:33,038
You can count on us.
214
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,375
I can't believe we're
doing this on day one.
215
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,177
Yep.
216
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,613
This kicks ass.
217
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,047
It's really something,
you know.
218
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,817
Ooh, there's some excrement.
219
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,120
Wow, Butt-Head.
220
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,389
This must be what
plumbers smell like.
221
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,891
That's right.
222
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,960
When chicks get a whiff of
this, they're gonna go crazy.
223
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,096
Ooh, yeah.
224
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,598
Bad news, pussies.
225
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,300
Since you guys went
in the shit pipe,
226
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,602
there's been a downturn
in the plumbing business.
227
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,370
You're fired.
228
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,774
Well, at least we
helped you out, you know.
229
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,141
Uh, you didn't.
230
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,109
I just made you
touch a lot of shit.
231
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,879
Cool.
But you're gonna pay us, right?
232
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,848
No, I'm not gonna do that.
233
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,217
Yeah, Beavis.
234
00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:19,453
He's not gonna do that.
235
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:20,753
Dumbass.
236
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,623
I got a better idea.
237
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,270
Just like old times,
you know?
238
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,705
Yeah.
239
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,273
Makes me feel young again.
240
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,977
Yeah, and it was
nice reconnecting
241
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,480
with him and stuff, you know.
242
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,983
It was a pretty
good day, you know.
243
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,950
It was the best day
of my life.